Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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