So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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