your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Your penis caused this!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
