i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
