I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
