The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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