question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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