Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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