i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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