don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
