all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize