Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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