I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
