I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
