Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
