I wish they made helmets for livers.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
