Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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