All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What a dumb baby whore.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
