Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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