Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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