New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
