My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
