btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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