no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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