please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
