this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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