I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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