she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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