what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
