I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
