party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
