Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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