would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
