Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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