If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
