it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
