My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
