She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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