Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
