My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
