it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
