Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
