dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
God, I missed his penis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
