My brain says no but my pants say off.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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