Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
