Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
