and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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