Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Non-Jews are for practice
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
