I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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