just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
