oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
