first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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