Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
