is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And then my night got REAL pukey
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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