whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he puts the penis in happiness.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
